


Floral Fantasies

by ChamomileTeaPages



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Doof waxes poetic over shampoo, Doofenshmirtz has a very extensive care routine, Doofenshmirtz is not a fan of thin eyebrows, Doofenshmirtz loves floral scents, Fluff, Gen, Perry loves Doof's new haircare routine, Pretty gen somehow, Shampoo - Freeform, Vanessa uses floral shampoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27126583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChamomileTeaPages/pseuds/ChamomileTeaPages
Summary: When Doofenshmirtz discovers a new shampoo, his life (and Perry's) changes for the better.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Floral Fantasies

**Author's Note:**

> Self-indulgent fluff with a side of Perry and Doof bonding. I banged this out on two (2) cups of honeyed black tea.

Doofenshmirtz stares at the shampoo bottle, cheeks burning. He’s run out of  _ his  _ shampoo. 

“Ugh,” he groans. “Seriously?” 

He thinks he may have to resort to drastic measures. Throwing the bottle away, he looks around his bathroom, and his eyes alight on Vanessa’s shampoo bottle. She always keeps her hygiene products over at his building for some unknown reason. The bottle is fairly large, with an image of a blooming sunflower on an off-white background and a golden cap. 

He pops open the cap and is blown away 

“Oh,  _ wow, _ ” he mutters. It smells beautiful, as if everything Good (evil, perhaps?) made its home in the pearl-white elixir in the bottle. He pours some on his hand, and marvels at the consistency. It has the consistency of a thick gel, which Doofenshmirtz prefers over watery, soapy shampoos that always spill all over his bathtub. 

Stripping off his clothes, he reverently applies the shampoo to his hair. He sighs, feeling oddly content. Man, what  _ has  _ he been missing out on? This stuff’s amazing!

He decides to finish it with some conditioner. After all, why test out products if you’re not going to test out  _ all _ of them? 

After showering, Doofenshmirtz applies his clothing and examines himself critically in the mirror. Maybe it’s the flowers talking, but Doofenshmirtz decides that he doesn’t mind what he sees. Sure, he's gained a few pounds, it softens his sharp edges out. 

Really, the only thing he needs to work on are his eyebrows. Taking the sharp pair of tweezers in his medicine cabinet, he plucks the stray hairs from his eyebrows. He glowers at the mirror, then relaxes his eyebrows. His eyebrows are thick enough to look intimidating when he glowers, but thin enough not to look stupid, like a plucked chicken (seriously, what is up with THAT craze? It’s so stupid.)

He hears the crashing of his window and frowns. 

He completely forgot about Perry the Platypus!

“Ah, Perry the Platypus!” he exclaims, exiting his bathroom. “I do apologize for the lack of trap, but a  _ situation _ came up. I don’t even have an evil scheme,” he sighs. 

In response, Perry takes out a rope from his hat and wraps himself up in it. 

“You...You’re trapping  _ yourself _ ?” 

Perry gives him a  **No, duh** look.

“Well, uh…”

Doofenshmirtz frowns thoughtfully. “I’ve got nothing.”

Perry gives a long-suffering sigh and points towards Doofenshmirtz’s head. 

Following his finger, Doofenshmirtz looks up. “What’s wrong with my hair? Is it my new shampoo?”   
Perry nods.

“Do you want to smell it? Trust me, it smells absolutely divine!” Doofenshmirtz chatters excitably. “You won’t regret it!” 

Seeing Perry’s nod, Doofenshmirtz bounces over to him and places his head near the platypus’s bill. He feels a gentle pull of air and he looks up. 

“Well...?” 

Doofenshmirtz dares a glance at Perry’s face. The platypus is smiling slightly. 

“It’s so  _ good _ , isn’t it? I think I’ll replace my normal shampoo with this one. This one’s Vanessa’s, and you  _ know _ how testy she gets when someone touches her stuff.”

Doofenshmirtz unties Perry. “Would you like to go shopping with me? It’ll be just like a trap!” 

Perry nods and they walk down to Doofenshmirtz’s car, Doofenshmirtz chatting amiably about some petty scheme or the other and Perry nodding along. 

They drive to the store, Love Handel bumping on the radio. 


End file.
